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7 things to never do while running on a treadmill

Before I share my profound safety tips, I will say that I have no special treadmill safety training nor do I claim to be an expert on the subject.  I am just a gal who likes getting on the treadmill and when I do, I seem to come up with some pretty thought provoking stuff.  You might read these tips and think, “Yeah genius, I knew that”, or you might think, “Damn, why didn’t I think of that??”  Either way, I hope a little piece of safety information stays with you on your next treadmill journey.

7 Things to NEVER do while running on a treadmill

  1. Do not eat baby carrots while running on a treadmill.  They are a known choking hazard and can kill you if they go down the wrong pipe.  I know we technically do not have “pipes” that go down our throats but that’s what we say after we’ve recovered from a choking incident, “It went down the wrong pipe.”  Sometimes we say, “It went down the wrong thing,” which makes “pipe” seem like a much more technical term.   Eat your baby carrots before or after the treadmill.  Do not eat them while running on the treadmill.
  2. Do not drink martinis while running on a treadmill.  Sure, you may get thirsty but if you try to drink a martini on the treadmill, it will spill because those glasses have REALLY wide rims and liquid splashes out quite easily.  And don’t even think about drinking it out of a sippy cup.  That’s just criminal.
  3. Do not try to moonwalk while running on a treadmill.  Today I was on the treadmill and Michael Jackson’s song, “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” came on and I SOOO wanted to break out in a moonwalk.  Couple problems:  One, I don’t know how to moonwalk and two, even if I did, I wouldn’t know which direction to do the moonwalk…toward the front of the treadmill or toward the back.  It’s complicated and possibly dangerous.
  4. Do not paint your nails while running on a treadmill.  Enough said.
  5. Do not invite your dog to join you while running on the treadmill.  I just don’t think it’s safe.  Is there really enough room for both of you?  What if your dog wants to go faster than you?  What if your cat, Fluffy, walks by?  If your dog really wants to go on the treadmill, you should take turns.  Humans and dogs sharing the treadmill is a disaster waiting to happen.
  6. Do not bend down to pick something up while running on a treadmill.   I’ve dropped my ear buds, my tissue, my safety clip, you name it.  I always forget that by the time I bend over to pick the item up, it has been flung off the back of the treadmill at warp speed.  Well, maybe not warp speed but at least 5.4 MPH.
  7. Do not listen to the wrong kind of music while running on a treadmill.  This is not really a ‘safety’ tip, just something I thought of and wanted to share.  Music can be a big motivator.  Whether it’s a catchy little ditty or a lyrical masterpiece, music can have a profound impact on a person’s run.  Here are a couple of songs that ended up on my running playlist and need to be removed ASAP:   Tired – by Adele, Harder to Breathe – by Maroon 5, Another One Bites the Dust – by Queen.  Bye bye songs.

I’m sure there are other things you should never do while running on a treadmill but these are the ones I could think of during my 30 minutes on the treadmill.  Maybe number eight should be, “Never try to think of things to never do while running on a treadmill.”

Happy, safe running!

QUICK WHIPPET PUPDATE:

Puppy Finn is still adorable

whippet finn

my Saturday morning at the bar

Yep.  I hit the bar first thing Saturday morning.  It was awesome and I was shaking afterward (and during, to be honest).  No, not that kind of bar, I’m not a lush.  It was a “barre” studio (Confession:  When I first saw the word “barre” I thought it was pronounced “barray” or something fancy like that.  Nope, it’s just pronounced BAR).   A barre class is a full body, pretty hard core workout (in my book anyway) that combines ballet, Pilates and yoga into one very long hour of torture.

Since a new studio opened up in town I thought, hey, I’m totally uncoordinated, can’t do Pilates to save my life and got a “D” in my ballet class in college so this should be right up my ally.  Plus, it might be a nice workout to complement my running routine.

When I first walked in the studio, there was this sign that read, “Embrace the Shake.”  Now I, like any other normal human being, thought it meant something like embrace the milk shake you’re going to enjoy after the workout.  No.  That is not what it meant.   You see, the goal of this class (as I understand it) is to work various muscle groups to the point of exhaustion.  When your muscles are exhausted, they shake. And shake and shake.  I was shaking so much I thought I was going to pull the damn “barre” right out of the wall.  It’s a great feeling when the muscles in your legs feel like they have turned to rubber.  It’s also a great feeling when you’re driving home from class and find the task of turning the steering wheel particularly difficult because the muscles in your arms are exhausted.  Seriously, who gets off on that stuff?  Apparently I do because I signed up for a few more classes.

barre

If you’re looking for an interesting new type of exercise that will leave you feeling confident that you are getting a great workout (your muscles will be screaming the next day), you should go hang out at the barre.  Here’s an article from FitSugar on 10 Tips for Taking Your First Barre Class.  If you’re not looking for a new workout but you are feeling really, really thirsty, then go hang out at the BAR!  Either way, enjoy!