This weekend was going to be really great. The only things on the agenda were rest, relaxation and a manicure with my mother-in-law. Instead I discovered an allergy to vodka, I got a manicure that was ruined within 4 hours and of course, there’s the poop eating puppy. Tragic, right?
My husband and I have a little tradition which is to partake in Friday night “mini-tinis” which is basically a martini in a tiny martini glass.
For some reason, we like drinking the smaller sized beverage. 
Maybe it’s because if we want refills (which you know we will), we have to take turns getting up and going to the freezer, (which you KNOW burns enough calories to cancel out all of the mini-tinis we consume for the night, and probably the chips and popcorn too). Plus, those big ol’ martini glasses have a spill-factor that becomes quite frustrating as the night goes on.
Anyway, we went out on a limb and purchased a huge bottle of Kirkland vodka from Costco. We heard great reviews about it so we deviated from our normal brand (whatever’s on sale) and bought an enormous bottle from Costco. So, Friday night vodka consumption takes place and later in the evening, I’m a sneezing, sniffling, nose-blowing mess. I just know it’s the vodka…it has happened before with a different brand. I wonder what’s in it that I’m allergic to? Needless to say, this is a big loss for me but it looks like the hubby has a jumbo bottle of vodka all to himself.
Then Saturday my lovely mother-in-law treated me to a wonderful manicure at the amazing Davenport Hotel which is the fanciest of fancy places in my town. We sipped on our champagne, enjoyed a relaxing manicure, did some shopping and had an all around fabulous day. Until I started to make a pear cobbler.
Once at home, I decided to make a pear cobbler because, well, it sounded like a healthy dessert (if you don’t count the cup of sugar and cube of butter). As I’m prepping the pears, I notice three of my nails are completely absent of nail polish. Not chipped. Not cracked. The nail polish has vanished! My first thought is, “Crap, the nail polish is somewhere in the bowl of pears!” I went through the entire bowl of pears and did not find any nail polish. I decided to retrace my steps and I found the chunks of nail polish in the sink where I was washing the pears. The polish came clean off the nails…in one piece. I was so mad because it was not a cheap mani. I called the hotel’s spa and they scheduled a do-over for which I am very grateful.
For now, my nails look like this: 
This weekend’s other messed up thing had to do with my whippet puppy, Finn. Finn is going through his “teething” stage which is ridiculous. We have a bag full of toys and he chooses to chew on my work shoes or my really nice slippers. Actually, that is not so terrible considering what I found him chewing on in the basement.
While I’m in the kitchen cursing at my vanishing nail polish, I realize I have not seen or heard Finn for a while. This is NEVER a good sign. I go down to the basement and find him happily chewing on something. I thought he was going to town on one of my son’s Lincoln Logs but nooooooo, it was a log of a different kind. He is chewing on a hard piece of dog $h!t. This is gross on so many levels. First, he was chewing on a piece of poo. Second, where did that poo come from? And if it was hard, how long has it been laying around? Why did we fail to discover it sooner? Was it mixed up in the box of Lincoln Logs? Has my child been playing with poo? All these thoughts run through my head (not to mention this thought: “Mental note to self – do not let Finn lick your face.”). I am sickened and have to chase after Finn to get the prized piece of poo out of his mouth. That is sick Finn. Just sick. So sick, I will not include a picture. You’re welcome.
Right now, it’s a quiet Sunday morning and I’m sipping my coffee, just relaxing. The poo situation is resolved. My messed up manicure will be remedied next week and the vodka…well, I guess I will just stick to wine. But I REFUSE to drink it out of a mini wine glass. Heck no. Bring on the jumbo glass.
slowgirlfastdog 