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Vodka Allergy and Other Really Messed Up Things

This weekend was going to be really great.  The only things on the agenda were rest, relaxation and a manicure with my mother-in-law.  Instead I discovered an allergy to vodka, I got a manicure that was ruined within 4 hours and of course, there’s the poop eating puppy.  Tragic, right?

My husband and I have a little tradition which is to partake in Friday night           “mini-tinis” which is basically a martini in a tiny martini glass. 

For some reason, we like drinking the smaller sized beverage. minitini

Maybe it’s because if we want refills (which you know we will), we have to take turns getting up and going to the freezer, (which you KNOW burns enough calories to cancel out all of the mini-tinis we consume for the night, and probably the chips and popcorn too). Plus, those big ol’ martini glasses have a spill-factor that becomes quite frustrating as the night goes on.

Anyway, we went out on a limb and purchased a huge bottle of Kirkland vodka from Costco.  We heard great reviews about it so we deviated from our normal brand (whatever’s on sale) and bought an enormous bottle from Costco.  So, Friday night vodka consumption takes place and later in the evening, I’m a sneezing, sniffling, nose-blowing mess.  I just know it’s the vodka…it has happened before with a different brand.  I wonder what’s in it that I’m allergic to?  Needless to say, this is a big loss for me but it looks like the hubby has a jumbo bottle of vodka all to himself.

Then Saturday my lovely mother-in-law treated me to a wonderful manicure at the amazing Davenport Hotel which is the fanciest of fancy places in my town.  We sipped on our champagne, enjoyed a relaxing manicure, did some shopping and had an all around fabulous day.  Until I started to make a pear cobbler.

Once at home, I decided to make a pear cobbler because, well, it sounded like a healthy dessert (if you don’t count the cup of sugar and cube of butter).  As I’m prepping the pears, I notice three of my nails are completely absent of nail polish.  Not chipped.  Not cracked.  The nail polish has vanished!  My first thought is, “Crap, the nail polish is somewhere in the bowl of pears!”  I went through the entire bowl of pears and did not find any nail polish.  I decided to retrace my steps and I found the chunks of nail polish in the sink where I was washing the pears.  The polish came clean off the nails…in one piece.  I was so mad because it was not a cheap mani.  I called the hotel’s spa and they scheduled a do-over for which I am very grateful.

For now, my nails look like this: badmani

This weekend’s other messed up thing had to do with my whippet puppy, Finn.  Finn is going through his “teething” stage which is ridiculous.  We have a bag full of toys and he chooses to chew on my work shoes or my really nice slippers.  Actually, that is not so terrible considering what I found him chewing on in the basement.

While I’m in the kitchen cursing at my vanishing nail polish, I realize I have not seen or heard Finn for a while.   This is NEVER a good sign.  I go down to the basement and find him happily chewing on something.  I thought he was going to town on one of my son’s  Lincoln Logs but nooooooo, it was a log of a different kind.  He is chewing on a hard piece of dog $h!t.  This is gross on so many levels.  First, he was chewing on a piece of poo.  Second, where did that poo come from?  And if it was hard, how long has it been laying around?  Why did we fail to discover it sooner?  Was it mixed up in the box of Lincoln Logs?  Has my child been playing with poo?  All these thoughts run through my head (not to mention this thought:  “Mental note to self –  do not let Finn lick your face.”).  I am sickened and have to chase after Finn to get the prized piece of poo out of his mouth.  That is sick Finn.  Just sick.  So sick, I will not include a picture.  You’re welcome.

Right now, it’s a quiet Sunday morning and I’m sipping my coffee, just relaxing.  The poo situation is resolved.  My messed up manicure will be remedied next week and the vodka…well, I guess I will just stick to wine.  But I REFUSE to drink it out of a mini wine glass.  Heck no.  Bring on the jumbo glass.

Training & treadmills & puppies, oh my!

Whew!  It’s been a quite a week of training and treadmills and puppies.  I might be exaggerating on the training and treadmill parts but the puppy part…that’s been crazy, man.

TRAINING

My half marathon is coming up and my training time is going down.  I’m pretty sure that’s not how the training books describe the training plan at this juncture.  On Labor Day I did an 11 mile run (miracle in my book) and I pretty much thought I was a rock star.  But then I had an epic allergy situation take place for the next few days and I was out of commission.  By Thursday, I was off my game.  I ran out of steam.  In less that a week I felt like I broke the awesome little running habit I formed.  So, what do I do when I need a  little kick in the butt?   I spend some quality time on Pinterest and look at the Health and Fitness page and ooh and ahh at the beautifully fit bodies, the really cool exercise routines and I promise myself that one day I will make that spinach-banana-chia pet-whatever smoothie.  Yum.

TREADMILLS

I got over my “I don’t want to run anymore” mood when I looked at a calendar and counted only 3 more weekends before the half (well, that and the Pinterest fix).  That was a nice tasty dose of reality…just as tasty as that chia pet smoothie, I bet.  Anyway, I tried running outside but the air quality was very poor due to fires in Central WA.   I busted out my trusty inhaler, ditched the outdoor runs and instead did some running on the treadmill.  I even did an 8 mile run.  EIGHT MILES on a treadmill!  Not a lot of interesting scenery but I felt great and was proud that I accomplished that goal.  I made fantastic use of my treadmill time and watched an episode of Rookie Blue, listened a bit to my audio book (The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn) and I came up with a genius idea for treadmill manufacturers.

Instead of a calorie counting feature, there should be a feature that counts how many adult beverages you just earned.  Let me break it down:  Let’s say a glass of white wine is 130 calories.  As you’re running on the treadmill, burning up those calories, an image of a wine glass starts to appear.  As you burn more calories, more of the wine glass image is revealed.  Once you burn 130 calories, your treadmill lights up the entire wine glass image. BAM!  You just earned yourself a guilt free glass of wine. When you burn 260 calories, two wine glasses light up.  Guess who gets two glasses of wine tonight??  And it doesn’t stop at wine.  You can program it for martinis, margaritas, cosmos, whatever floats your boat.  Anyway, I thought it was an amazing idea…Award winning stuff.

PUPPIES

So when I’m not coming up with ways to revolutionize the world of treadmilling (pretty sure that’s not a real word), I am busy with being a puppy mama which leads me to the Whippet Pupdate:  Finn, the whippet puppy, is ridiculous.  We cannot take our eyes off of him for two seconds.  I’m not exaggerating.  We can take our eyes off of him for one second but not two.  He’s crazy fast and just disappears in a flash.  It’s like his super power…We don’t even know how he does it.  One second he’s at your feet, the next second he has vanished into thin air.  Here’s a typical conversation at our house:

Me:  Who’s got Finn?

Husband:  I thought you had him?

Me:  I thought YOU had him!  Garrett!!!  Do you have Finn?

Garrett: What?

Me:  Do you have Finn?

Garrett:  No.  I thought YOU had him.

Me:  Crap.  Where’s Finn??  We gotta find Finn.

This conversation takes place 4 or 5 times a night.  It reminds me of “The Walking Dead” when the adults always lose Karl.  Karl is probably around 9 years old roaming around unsupervised in a land full of ravenous zombies.  He’s the one and only child on the show that the grown ups must keep an eye on but Karl ALWAYS manages to disappear. Seriously grown ups, how can you lose Karl?  If you’re a fan of all things zombies, you’ll love this show.

Anyway, back to Finn…

finnplaying Finn looking playful

finngarden Finn looking thoughtful

finncollar Finn looking just plain adorable

Finn is a great addition to our family but I can’t wait until he’s old enough to start running with me.  Then it will be Slow Girl and really, really fast dog!  He will be the perfect solution to my “I don’t wanna run blues.”